Parsing the "transportation product liability" text, example 3
Original text posted here.
3. FMVSS are minimum standards produced by the government through public and industry input. However, FMVSS provisions that are ultimately adopted are minimum performance standards not safety standards as suggested by their title. The problem with the FMVSS is that they are inadequate.
3a. Rather than use boldface or underlining for emphasis, let's write these sentences so that the structure naturally emphasizes the key words. I'll use end-placement and a dash.
Suggestion:
Suggestion:
Suggestion:
Suggestion:
Wayne Schiess
Director of Legal Writing | The University of Texas School of Law | Website | Seminars | Articles | Books: Preparing Legal Documents Nonlawyers Can Read and Understand
| Better Legal Writing
| Writing for the Legal Audience
| The Legal Memo: A Basic Guide
3. FMVSS are minimum standards produced by the government through public and industry input. However, FMVSS provisions that are ultimately adopted are minimum performance standards not safety standards as suggested by their title. The problem with the FMVSS is that they are inadequate.
3a. Rather than use boldface or underlining for emphasis, let's write these sentences so that the structure naturally emphasizes the key words. I'll use end-placement and a dash.
Suggestion:
- The Standards are produced by the government through public and industry input, and they are minimum standards. However, the Standards that are ultimately adopted, as suggested by their full name, are minimum performance standards--not safety standards as suggested by their title. The problem with the Standards is that they are inadequate.
Suggestion:
- The Standards are produced by the government after public and industry input. However, the Standards that are ultimately adopted are minimum performance standards--not safety standards as suggested by their full name. The problem with the Standards is that they are inadequate.
Suggestion:
- The Standards are produced by the government after public and industry input. But the Standards that are ultimately adopted are minimum performance standards--not safety standards as suggested by their full name. As minimum standards, they are inadequate.
Suggestion:
- The government produces the Standards after public and industry input. But the Standards that are ultimately adopted are minimum performance standards--not safety standards as suggested by their full name. As minimum standards, they are inadequate.
Wayne Schiess
Director of Legal Writing | The University of Texas School of Law | Website | Seminars | Articles | Books: Preparing Legal Documents Nonlawyers Can Read and Understand
| Better Legal Writing
| Writing for the Legal Audience
| The Legal Memo: A Basic Guide
Comments